Monday, October 20, 2008

WITnessed : Inner Conflict...

The third moral from Why Parents Will Never Understand Their Kids... And Also Why Uncles and Aunts Will Always Be Cooler! is...
Avoid having kids of your own! Be the cool uncle... ; )
The second I wrote this third moral, I had a deep inner conflict...
The reptilian part of me hard wired to survive and replicate did not agree with this... Thankfully, the other parts of me stepped in to resolve the issue...

Reptilian Pratik : Conflict! Must replicate! Must have kids! Gotta pass on the awesome genes!
Shrewd Investor Pratik : Kids are a HUGE responsibility! Little rewards and sooo much risk! Bad investment!
Mediator Pratik : Hang on guys... There has got to be a better way... I'm sure we can find a win-win solution to this...
Player Pratik : How bout we find a few hot women who want to give birth to lil Pratiks, but have no objection to them being raised by their respective reliable husbands?
Politically Correct Pratik : By hot, we mean intelligent, smart, funny and beautiful women...
Farmer Pratik : Yes! Sow seeds only in the most fertile grounds!

All Pratiks : *come to an agreement* Now there's a thought... ; )

Note: I'm kidding (somewhat)! But if you're a hot woman (as described above), feel free to send me an email along with a couple of recent photos of you... ; )

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Why Parents Will Never Understand Their Kids... And Also Why Uncles and Aunts Will Always Be Cooler!

When (if) you have kids, you are going to be as unreasonable & overprotective with them as your parents are with you!

All of you must have heard "unreasonable" things from your parents... I know I did!

"Better be back home by 11:00pm!" (when I was 16)

"No you will not go riding into the hills on your motorcycle with your pals!"
"Forget your sports team/rock band/girlfriend... and focus on your studies!"

"You are going to do Engineering and then an MBA! Forget Arts/Literature/Commerce! What job will you get!?"

"Be back home by 12:30am!" (even today when I'm past 23!)

I'd often wonder... "Why!? Why!? Why can't they understand!? Why are they being soo worried/rigid/annoying/selfish/old fashioned/materialistic/unreasonable etc etc etc... Have they forgotten their young days? How can they not allow us to do XYZ when they've done the same things when they were our age?!"

In such frustrating times, I'd usually find solace in one of my cool uncles/aunts... (apart from bitching about discussing it with friends)

Everyone has that one cool uncle/aunt, who encourages you along your own personal path of madness... Uncle Cool actually "gets" you... He understands your aspirations even though he's from the same generation as your parents! He even has tips, tricks and anecdotes to share with you!

To add insult to injury, you see your Dad being super cool with your friends/cousins... and wonder why he can't be like that with you! Which, strangely, is the exact same complaint that your cousins/friends have about their parents - Uncle Cool and Aunt Hip.

I used to think - "My parents are crazy! But when I become a parent, I'm gonna be super cool!"
...till today when I was reading Paul Graham... He says...

The kids think their parents are "materialistic." Not necessarily. All parents tend to be more conservative for their kids than they would for themselves, simply because, as parents, they share risks more than rewards. If your eight year old son decides to climb a tall tree, or your teenage daughter decides to date the local bad boy, you won't get a share in the excitement, but if your son falls, or your daughter gets pregnant, you'll have to deal with the consequences.


It's not that parents are selfish/unreasonable/materialistic/conservative/overprotective... They just do what makes sense, what every single person actually does - balance their own perceived risk and reward, pain and pleasure.

Parents' rewards...
They don't get the rewards of being out late partying, or of thundering across the mountains on you motorbike, or of being the college rockstar etc...
The only reward they get is the satisfaction that they're enabling their kids to experience life and do what they want...

Parents' risk...
They have as much risk as you do, if not more. If anything goes wrong, they will have to fix it for you, and support you emotionally and financially in dealing with the consequences. For them, it is added trouble that they can do without!

What about the Uncle Cool and Aunt Hip!?
They get the same reward of enabling/encouraging you to do what you want, of passing on valuable lessons and insights etc... of living their dreams through you... and the satisfaction of being "cool"...
Their risk? Not much really, because your parents will take care of you in case something goes wrong...

Moral(s) of the story :

1. Love your parents! They do a LOT for you! (Mamma, Papa, I love you!)

We are family!
2. Understand that your parents are not unreasonable/overprotective etc etc... When you want to do something, share more of the reward with them, and less of the risk. Whenever possible make the risk sound non existent...
; )

3. Avoid having kids of your own! Be the cool uncle... ; )

I've been kidding about this with my sisters for a while now actually...
"I'm not having kids... But you should have lots of kids... So that I can come over and totally spoil them! I'll buy them cool gifts, take them out on cool holidays, teach them cool stuff they're not supposed to know just yet... I'll be their cool uncle! : )"

[I just had a deep inner conflict...The reptilian part of me hard wired to survive and replicate does not agree with the third moral... Thankfully the other parts of me are stepping in to resolve the issue...]

Saturday, October 18, 2008

WITnessed : Wild Cats Return...

Fa : Pranay was wearing a damn cool t shirt... It had the PUMA logo with... blah blah
Pratik : hahaha... You know Sneha actually called it a tiger...
Fa : hahaha .. How stupid! She called the leopard a tiger!
Pratik : Erm... did you just call it a leopard?
Fa : Oh... no... errrrmm... I mean cheetah!
*Viks and I burst out laughing*
Fa : What is it? *embarrassed*
Pratik : I wonder what the PUMA logo could be... hmmmm... *sarcastic*
Fa : What does PUMA mean?!
Pratik : I don't know.. what does ADIDAS mean? What does NIKE mean? *sarcastic*
Fa & Uv : *thinking*
Uv : The Puma logo is some sort of wild cat...
Pratik : You mean like a puma... : P
Fa : Oh yeah! A puma is a wild cat! How could I forget..!?
*We all have a good laugh*
Uv : So what does ADIDAS mean!?

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Friday, October 17, 2008

WITnessed : Spicy!

Over lunch...

Amar : I want Andhra Chicken Tikkas... The spice is good for my cold...
*the tikkas arrive and they're a little too hot to handle*
Pratik : What happened Amar? Enjoying the spice?
Amar : I wanted Chicken Tikka... This is just Chicken Teekha!

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Saturday, October 11, 2008

WITnessed : Age No Bar...

Anu : That lady was asking bout you Chaddi... She thinks you're cute...
Chaddi : The old one? She's not bad looking...
Anu : She claims she's 30, but I'm pretty sure she's 45... She IS pretty hot for her age thoough!? The only problem is, she can be very anal!
*all the guys look at each other waiting for someone to say it*
Pratik : That's not necessarily a bad thing... ; )
*all the guys burst out laughing*
Anu : *gets it after a couple of seconds and is totally grossed out*

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Thursday, October 02, 2008

WITnessed : 32...

Over dinner...

Neha : I just don't understand numbers in Hindi...
Pranip : Ok, tell me what is "Buttees"? (32 in Hindi)
Neha : Erm... Um... 27? I don't know... How do you know!?
Pranip : "tees" is 30... so you should know that it is in the thirties...
Atul : Aur butt toh do hote hain... So 30 + 2 = 32!
(Translation : And your butt has 2 cheeks... So 30 + 2 = 32)

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Wednesday, October 01, 2008

WITnessed : Cost of Cool...

Chatting over dinner... I was talking about some of my prospective housemates...

Pratik : There was this one guy, who was pretty cool, but he wanted to pay 1000 bucks less rent.
Afrin : 1000 bucks less? How?! Why!?
Prashant : Coolness Cost! *wisecrack*
Pratik : I thought "There is no price for Awesomeness!" [1]... But evidently coolness costs 1000 bucks a month!

[1] The line is from Kungfu Panda... You won't get it if you haven't watched the first 5 mins.
(Killer movie btw! Loved it!)

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